Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
