but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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