so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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