I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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