she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
