The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
