This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby