The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
