Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.

  (801): View more from Utah

  alright see you in the morning.

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  (801): You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house. (1-801): There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen. (801): alright see you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/gnes
  Replies (47) Good night (18743) Bad night (800)
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  (607): View more from New York

  whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  King Triton

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  (607): whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to? (1-607) King Triton http://tfl.nu/vy7a
  Replies (77) Good night (1242) Bad night (2789)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My underwear smells like fireworks.

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  (801): My underwear smells like fireworks. http://tfl.nu/cuz7
  Replies (19) Good night (4700) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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  (740): ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments. http://tfl.nu/bi4c
  Replies (11) Good night (4238) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

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  (248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke http://tfl.nu/ag71
  Replies (25) Good night (899) Bad night (7455)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

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  (519): When you wake up, I have rum and am in town http://tfl.nu/jlrs
  Replies (3) Good night (4590) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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  (630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7
  Replies (41) Good night (18188) Bad night (1164)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
  Replies (41) Good night (9411) Bad night (3302)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.

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  (717): Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/ljr5
  Replies (10) Good night (3175) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.

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  (814): The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge. http://tfl.nu/3qou
  Replies (6) Good night (3176) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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  (218): It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter. http://tfl.nu/rje4
  Replies (20) Good night (735) Bad night (3756)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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  (281): Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have. http://tfl.nu/1d5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3654) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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  (815): My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time. http://tfl.nu/dmh2
  Replies (9) Good night (2581) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here

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  (931): I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here http://tfl.nu/mh8f
  Replies (4) Good night (2083) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING

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  (201): Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING http://tfl.nu/cx17
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (285)

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