I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
