Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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