While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
