I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
