I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
