I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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