I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
