she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
