Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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