Three words: puerto rican gang bang
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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