the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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