I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
