Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
