Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
