The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
