We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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