Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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