I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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