I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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