Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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