I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
