She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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