whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
