Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
