My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
