You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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