Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
