how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
