just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize