I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
