LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
