The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
