i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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