my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
