oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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