His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
