you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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