you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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