I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
