So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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