i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
