She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
