I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
