Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
