Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize