why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
