I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
