ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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