Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
