She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
