I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
