What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
