New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
