just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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