I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize