Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
