if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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