He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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